It is 5:30 in the morning. I am standing in the lobby of a midtown Manhattan hotel, judging the distance between me and a planter because I am pretty sure I am going to throw up. My stomach is in
each pitch lost in the peripheral blink of an eye
I have been to many games at Shea Stadium and I know that this facility’s bar for unacceptable behavior is extremely low.
Let’s start this account of fuckfaces on October 18, 2006. I was 30 years old, recently engaged, in my third year of residency training at Chapel Hill, and depressed about the New York Mets.
Dear Dicky,
You probably figured it out by now, but I’m sorry I stole the softball.
Otherwise you'll end up with a mouthful of husk shards.
It is the last inning of the last game of a mediocre season for a mediocre team.
I was twelve going on thirteen when I first saw Stand By Me. I guess that would have made it 1990. As the narrator, Gordie Lachance, says about the first time he saw a dead human being, as voiceover at the beginning of the movie: “a long time ago… but only if you measure terms in years...
Once I googled “Can you bunt in football?” Answers.com had a helpful “Answered by the Community” reply: “No.”
There are bite marks exposing the bright green flesh of two kiwis in the blue glass fruit bowl.
Season 6, season finale: Hank Moody attends AWP. Moral tragedy ensues.
I’m hoarse and feverish. We sing in the streets, “Feelin’ good was good enough for me, hee hee,” but then the breakfast booth only has two seats.
48 hours after his mysterious disappearance Lowe uploaded the first of many filter-less photographs to come to his, once deactivated and now reactivated, Instagram account.
[Previously: Part 10 :: Part 9 :: Part 8 :: Part 7 :: Part 6 :: Part 5 :: Part 4 :: Part 3 :: Part 2 :: Part 1]
Last time on...
I wear a velvet piece to the therapist’s office and she asks me to close my eyes. We agree to experience an illusion of me dancing...
But this whole thing is wrong. Your hair is uneven around the edges where you cut it this morning.
Black Phillip says monogamy means convincing somebody they like being controlled.
I was sitting at the edge of her mattress. We barely looked at each other. She would have been in Chemistry if we hadn’t skipped third period. I would have been in English II.
I can’t stop watching teenage boys eat shit at the skate park.
It gives me real pleasure.
Someone else is waiting by the door. I’m brushing dust off my jacket getting over to her, but really looking at my hand, which hasn’t stopped shaking in the past minute. I think I’m excited.
An excerpt from WASTE: a novel
Elvira Moon loved bowling. For four straight years, her team, the Blooming Broads, dominated the women’s league, decimating all opponents until Big Tina quit to start her own team, the South Side Splitters, with that bitch Claudia from Couscous or whatever country she’d arrived from in a banana crate.
