Our town’s ordinance—passed in 1862—named the first-born son of each family Zebulon.

1.
In human beings, the wink is known to convey one of four emotions:
           Sexual invitation
           False sexual invitation,
           Nonsexual expression of friendliness

My ex, Mark, calls me at two in the morning to tell me he’s figured out what’s causing his problems.

When I think of mumblecore, I think of Dick Tracy and pornography, low budget films, naturalistic performances, Andrew Bujalski, and pimples. We never set out to make any particular type or genre of film. We just wanted to make our film.

This is the first magic realist mumblecore psychological love story thriller shot over eight years of Claymation. 

POEM ABOUT MY VIBE

my look tonight is Asking For It
a tight vibe is U Can't Have This
I only wanna be in VIP lines & get compliments
god grant me the grace to maintain my

Edith stood close by in case they needed her, but stared out the doorway at the pickup truck. 

Two teenagers finish the last apple in the house and then wait for something to say.

"I'm thirsty now," one says.

The other unseals a new milk carton from the fridge.

They both

When one didn’t work, turned to another one. Turned to one who could be spun.

Turned and spun.

That the language of business.

What other language would he—would any of

A little nervous after my 70,000th cup of coffee this lifetime
I was wary of forty-three year olds
(statistically, murderers are on average 7.5 years older than their victims)

though

it was a sort of boring day so me, kate, and david were just drinking and watching daytime television at my mom's house

It was probably 3:3o in the morning and I was wide-awake because of the acid. I was anxious to do something but nothing in particular. I was jittery, lively.

That’s / when the purple doors open into steamy / bathtub of surprise. That’s when there’s / an impossibly-deep Prince breath & then—

There is nothing romantic about being young and dark and confused. Pain is real. It's funny on Twitter but it sucks irl. 

Oliver Reed isn’t wasting any time. He has work to do, and he’ll be god-damned if he’s going to let anybody get in his way. The work, of course, is drinking, and in the Christmas scene from 1975’s

men on trains

A man on the L train says to his friend, "Nothing is more attractive than a woman who admits she's wrong about something." A man on the G train says to his date, "Most

A while ago, I predicted Taylor Swift's career arc, and so far, I'm correct.

and it is always okay to be cruel in the arts, whether people like him are in on it or not, because who cares, internet (hey internet, how do I take a selfie of my fucking concern for others?)

Thank you for agreeing to serve as my culture champion. I appreciate you.

When I was young, I wanted one of those Davy Crockett hats. Because I admire psychopaths.

Shining lights and beautiful balls,
turning night as darkness crawls.

 Shucks, you know the only racism worth a damn comes from poverty. I like Franco when he’s silly.

Defenestrated again. On the way down I regret that it isn’t raining.

PS. I was part of an email the studio campaign in the early 2000s to openly mock the idea of a Dawn of the Dead remake, before remakes were a condition.

I keep waiting for them to say / something the least bit unfamiliar.