Morgan Freeman makes me cry.

When I see them on Saturday in St. Louis, it will be the sixth time I will have seen Rush live, and I will have seen them in three different decades of my life – my 20s, 30s and 40s.

This month’s column was going to be about quitting my last job, but what’s the point. It was... more

Although Flight opens on a full-screen shot of a nipple, it quickly digresses into one of the most intense movie scenes I’ve ever... more

At a certain point, / no sex becomes a little Branch Davidian

He was her first virgin, and he waited to do it in a bed.

Sure, sometimes it’s better not to just come right out and say it, for instance “the unicorns” represent “the writing” and that “the unicorns” are the perfect symbol of “the writing’s magical, elusive, cunning, and enchanted nature.”

Ian’s mother warned him about jumping on the mattress.

We were taking shots at the bar before the bar, pre-gaming, game-facing. We did a round of jaeger bombs and Fixer knocked some dap and went outside for a smoke.

Texas gets a bad rap because it's filled with assholes, but really if you take any area the size of Texas anywhere it will be filled with assholes, because that's what people are.​

The night before you were born, your mother and I watched Knocked Up downstairs in the family room.

Rocky Horror Picture Show is probably the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever seen pass as a movie. Besides the fact... more

The two of them are down on the riverbank, idling; their calico van sits arch-above. 

In the fall of Helga Vierksen’s death, I was seven years old.

You’re listening to an audiobook about the history of the Mercury space program when the car accident happens. It’s so fast you barely... more

1) Technically, everything remains but the stereo, circa 1998, a sound system so old it couldn't play CD's for more than an hour without overheating into unbearable skips...

The real cowboy wears a fishing cap and one of those vests you associate with photographers, only his isn't stuffed with film or lenses or... more

Of course, I think that Mark Twain is true.   I think that Samuel Clemens is the lie.  Only a dishonest person wants you to know that a story they are telling "really happened."

Perks of Being a Wallflower is the very beautiful, slightly tragic, endearing story of diffident, introverted... more

You were a horse yesterday; what happened? I rode you places under the hot sun. You fought off flies with your tail and... more

Kathy Acker was sick of shaving her legs.  Every time she shaved them she cut herself.  It didn’t matter if the blade... more

Can I speak to you for a moment?

It’s your son’s teacher and so this can’t be good.  Now not good, doesn’t have to mean bad, but it means... more

Hello, Sarah, your skin’s perspiring. Nervous? Your heart rate just jumped to 153 beats per minute and your eyes dilated by two... more

Thrift stores are full of possibility and sadness, which makes them perfect settings for fiction, in my opinion.

Here is what I know. They wear tights. Their wings are thin flapping things that look more like dragonflies than butterflies. They never... more

I still remember how he'd pour, like a ritual, like he still does to this day when he mixes himself a Beam & Pepsi at the end of the day.