She bites at a knuckle hoping to draw her private, savage joy. What’s it taste like? You don’t want to know. You can’t imagine how hard it is to stop after.
You harness the light like the love of a good horse, your word is law among the stars and the sand, patron saint of all things misunderstood in the daytime.
She’s gone. Stop knocking.
What did I do today.
I walked through Costco
dissociated,
watching a woman who looked like me
push a cart
like this is the world.
Like this is what we’re
His unbuttoned shirt, his summer breakfast. The gesture of his mouth was the opening of unsaid words.
The gigolos texted me back while my mom and I watched Zootopia 2
Fury Psalm 6:
Let there be a God, an earth, seasons weathered through a time
for this, for that, for breathing and for holding one’s breath.
Let there be seasons when the moon has nothing to be
Lie here with me, if only for a while.
Sitting in his gold Toyota listening to old metal. He turned down The Accused to tell me about his diagnosis.
“The Upper East Side. For uncreative rich people who don't know the first thing about being happy,” Mom said, and I believed her.
Avery was the worst kind of people pleaser. A failed one who didn’t know how to make other people happy but attempted only to her own demise. When Sienna asked Avery if she wanted to steal, the yes
It is warm in the theatre. The chair is comfortable. The trailers ended and most of the films looked good. A Coca Cola ad begins playing, which is the second to last thing they show before the movie.
She walks around like a colt in a kitchen I don’t know, bluish crescent bruise on her calf flashing every couple of turns at me.
I would take you as you are and were
over all this dead air.
I met the man who would become my Uncle through an insane-clown-posse-adjacent dishwasher coworker who wanted us to star in his uncomfortably misogynistic Instagram horror movie.
I had just moved
When the sun went down, I saw the man on the sidewalk. He had fallen onto his suitcase with a shopping bag at his feet. The light turned green. A car honked behind me. I drove ahead, but a pedestrian
His dismissal to reduce me to my womanhood and paycheck fucked me.
Am I too old? Nah,
I’ve yet to wear
my trousers rolled.
But this morning
coffee in bed, my wife
and I scrolling —
Hers: prison
She wrapped her arm around his back in a quick half-hug that made it easy for him to tuck the envelope in her purse. She excused herself to the bathroom so she could count it.
I looked him up on Instagram. The only thing publicly linked to him was a photo of his smiling face in the cockpit of a 737, posted by the National Gay Pilots Association from 2020.
I left Texas to have him. Not for him, but for me: so that I would survive.
I sat down. Cassandra ordered a glass of wine. “I hope this wasn’t sudden,” she said.
i wonder how hard it is for her to
reconcile being a Christian and a witch
judge and judged. how easy
Thus commences the portion of the evening in which you retrieve the Svedka again to sober up
cause that is all we knew
we drank liquor, smoked crack,
escorted prostitutes around in our car,
hoping for a bisquit, or a small dead bird,
a song sweetly sung; that no one ever heard.
I listen to Queen. “Another One Bites the Dust.” The soundtrack of my life.
Countless times she was quoted for her famous remark that “monogamy is a prison that free people voluntarily check themselves in for the duration of their lives.” And “can anything be more depressing and boring in life than fucking the same person over and over again, for decades?”
And I wonder if we are always standing at the street corner eating each other’s hearts.
