crumple my stupid heart / a thing of wire and feathers

Why do I miss us at our worst?

You’re so beautiful I see that everything is beautiful. A mudslide. A wound. A dead raccoon.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s like that theory of the universe, a big bang followed by expansion until collapse, a big crunch, then a big bang again, ad infinitum, so that my curling, turtling pizzle will pop out again, pop in, pop out, poppet, an endless eon’s worth of self-fucking of a higher kind, a higher cruel.

Best time to buy a bra / is right before the moon finishes / milking itself

Our bones 
are always grinning.

my mother finds the name water / sweating blue cloud hairs

We really hit our stride in Gender Justice class when the Women’s Studies department asked me to teach and I invited you to join, thinking a co-ed experience would best serve our students.

He’d been by himself now for months except for game night with his colleagues and so he multiplied 13 by 47 in his head and divided it down until it was a trace behind the decimal point and then he asked her if she would like to meet him for a coffee downtown.

with beer bongs and messy boys who didn’t know how to do anything but shove shoulders down for head

A glassy-looking eye staring out too from Mr A’s head. Had he been a victim somewhere along the line?

Because if something is inherently taboo, in any way, it’s probably worth exploring.

Addicted to this feeling / mitochondria eat your television

I’m hitting my vape while he’s being vulnerable.

I started talking like a retired showgirl in a ruined by cigarettes raspy voice and asking my mom things like ‘what good is Tom without some of Dick and Harry on the side?’

Over the next few days, through a method of trial and error, I taught myself the basics of frontier survival.

You're glowing, she said. And why would I be glowing? It can't be the gutrot wine, or last week's fast food lunches. It can't be my Quasimodo limp, I smashed my toe on a fire hydrant trying to

Run to him,
it urged. Drop to your knees

His friends document their lives incessantly. Shots of grand scenery from lookout points. Screenshots of their heart rates and macros.

When she used to swim at night her bones cut through water like perforating paper. It was always the same ritual, pants off first with a slight shimmy, arms up high overhead to get rid of the

I AM NOT TAYLOR SWIFT

Today I almost caved and drank.
My new dog has an ulcer
He needs eye drops
Created with his own blood
administered twice daily
I will be in Mexico - Dia De Los

It is a horrible thing to lose a friend, they said, and their saying this made him angry. What did they understand? They didn't understand a single thing.

My dad’s passed, my dad says. He’s driving to cremate and bury him. He tears one minute further from me. Two. His phone clatters on the dashboard. Horns and curses. He says BEEP fuck, if I could BEEP

I am at such peace but I take a beat
to pause, that’s all, to feel so full, hearted, set.

“We’re watching Bluey,” I say. “And we’re starving,”

coyotes marauding in
waves of slaughter & i’m
jealous of the way