Your boyfriend was the first boy to buy me drinks; he
remembered that I liked red wine, except
when I wanted
whiskey. Something about it seemed risky, flirty. I liked the idea
maybe wanted me. Or
I was important
to you & wanted
me to like him. He manufactured
something. I think
one night we went out with his coworkers &
one of them came out to me as trans, only
I didn’t remember the next day.
Pro: He can’t do anything about it.
Con: You might have to pay for the satellite call.
He drank red wine out of a box that he kept
in the fridge. You asked me if that was
weird. I said kinda. I liked how much of a dude he was
& that he still seemed to like me. One time,
he bought some bud for us
in the middle of the bar. Sometimes
I guess things are easy for some people. Sometimes
I see him post a selfie
with a fish & I wonder
what it would feel like
to be held so proudly.