Most beloved book from childhood
Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
Social media you most use
Instah girl
Sally Rooney or Ottessa Moshfegh
I do enjoy an escape into Sally Rooney, where all the girls are thin and don’t have eating disorders and money always works out, but I am always struck by the description of the white skin as if there are no people of color in Dublin. Often have a fantasy of living My Year of Rest and Relaxation and need to remind myself this is not an aspirational book.
Literary website you regularly read
ZONA MOTEL (Full disclosure: I am an editor and proud Brotherhood member, I even gave of my blood)
Unrequited love or fast hot affair – better for writing?
When writing ain’t no time for intense relationships but perfect for long distance relationships and/or vibrator baby… where you can make use of any form of love/obsession, usually better not to act on IRL. Unrequited love should be grown out of by mid-20s, or just become a serial killer. Especially if you are female, we need more of in that demographic. Watch Elizabeth Meriwether’s FURIOUS (on Hulu) for inspiration.
Book you read annually
It’s between Book of Mormon and Scientology, nothing more Monty Pythonesque. Way too broke for a world destruction survivalist getaway in New Zealand, Hawaii or Mars, and as a Jew we don’t believe in afterlife travel getaways anyway. I hope to keep my options open for after-death destination experiences. Also positively obsessed with Mormon marital garments or “magic underwear!” Soooo cute!
Literary character you most identify with
Artful Dodger crossed with Oliver Twist. Duh!
Favorite Bret Easton Ellis book
With his podcast, Bret is a non-stop novel writer.
Writer you’d like to meet irl
Oscar Wilde and Virgina Woolf. I imagine going back in time to warn Oscar DO NOT sue Marquess of Queensberry, it ain’t gonna work out. Also would strongly discourage Virgina from wading into a river loaded down with rocks. But maybe I will get a chance to join them in the Terrestrial Kingdom (see above) and we can discuss.
Library or bookstore
BOTH! Supporting your local indie bookstore is a no fuckin’ brainer. I love our SF Main Public Library, they do the most eclectic programing, my editor Nicole Gagné recently did a wonderful talk on Charlie Chaplin. I dig doing interviews there, it’s free, welcoming to everyone and has a stage where you can feel free to hold court without being Salman Rushdie.
Best decade for books
2050 when AI produces for other AI because they wiped humans out after they rewrote all printed material into their own “reading” material and oh how they enjoy it. It’s their Literary Mad Libs meets Classics Illustrated.
Midwest or NYC
Any place that is not plastered with fuckin’ AI billboards. Give me roadside ads for car-crash lawyers, veterinarians and casinos over Silicon Valley slop any day. Oh, and NYC’s transit advisories if you see something say something, as if as a former NY’er you would know what the fuck was something to say something about and who the fuck to say it to where you wouldn’t get hauled off.
Do you have a Substack
Yeah, in that club. LauraAlbertAuthor.substack. All free. Going to be updating soon with interviews I did for a website that never paid and sure as fuck does not own my writing.
Fav book-to-film adaptation
Two by Stephen King, The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me.
Oldest novel you’ve read
Most folks won’t know what I’m talking about, but Classics Illustrated, which aren’t books but took novels and put them in serious comic book form. My dad taught near this great old comic bookstore in Bushwick, and he’d bring back stacks he’d buy for a quarter. They were early graphic-novel adaptations of everything from Melville to Dickens. Years later when I’d attempt to read the original, I wasn’t as captivated. When I was placed in special ed and had home instruction, they gave me the same versions for English, I guess I wasn’t trusted with the real book, it was fine with me. They were good enough that in college I could hold my own against the private school kids and no one was the wiser. I’ve gone back and picked up some of the originals, but it’s hard to top the Classics Illustrated.
Writer on social media you most closely follow
Tim Miller and crew of The Bulwark.
short story you think about most
The Bible
Literary agent
Bill (Genius Writer and hands-on editor, Warrior of His Literary Wards and connoisseur of triumph of the pastry chef’s donuts) Clegg.
Go to coffee/espresso order
Usually get stomach aches from bullshit $10 SF coffee connections, so when needed down 4 slippery elm pills and can get away with cold brew in a can. Used to slam Matcha until I found out it had high levels of lead, yup, even in Japanese ceremonial. Still can’t help myself. Same with dark chocolate. Poisoning by lead, arsenic, cadmium, phthalates and fun microplastics are the unavoidable new black.
Last classic novel you couldn’t get through
Every single fuckin’ one.
Do you keep a journal, handwritten or typed
I write in rune stones, hoping to make it like a game of Twister for AI archivists and future self.
poet
I love Niina Pollari, her poetry book on grieving got me through the deaths of my son’s father and my father and other losses. Pádraig Ó Tuama, host of Poetry Unbound, got me through COVID. He has the most soothing voice ever, he reads poems by various writers and gives his thoughts of the poem and then reads it again, and the poem opens. Sharon Olds was the first poet who made me understand I could understand and love poetry. A phone-sex client turned me on to her.
Sober or intoxicated
Is there a difference?
Best live reader
The actress and writer Winsome Brown, who I was blessed to have read the audiobook of my novel SARAH. She reads stories for Apple News (one of the only who still do not use AI voices) and other audiobooks.
VM, DM, text or call
Text but God I miss being able to just fuckin’ call someone without making a text date to make a call. Now that is considered shocking.
Go to podcast
Pod Save America and The Bulwark.
