I don’t think you evolved
I think you walked straight out the sea
Fully formed, soaking wet
Looking for me.
I go online and see
That if you look under a microscope
There are tiny worms in cigarettes.
Then you text me.
Now I’m lying here telling you I’m wet,
Thinking about you in love with someone else
Pretending that’s a thing I could forget.
Something happens to my hands and I can’t type
Then you text me
And I say sorry sorry
But I’m not sorry, I’m not being honest
I want blood and blood pacts
And the rest.
And just like that time splits apart
My memory goes black.
Four years of meaning scattered over land.
It’s no surprise
That here in all this chaos
What you want from me is hard to understand.
When somebody loves me
The world is a bouncy castle.
I buy Beanie Babies and incense on Chapel Market
And hear clarinet music out of open windows.
I can float weightless in all this beauty
Holding my breath to get high
Breathing it in
Breathing it out
Thinking about nothing except everything about you.
Taking out my phone to ask
Do you think the sky was pink in the stone age too?
The fantasies I’ve been having
Are so awful
There is no way to write about them.