Enema Of The State
June 1, 1999
As a 10-year-old boy I found ways to explore. Moisturizing with lotion helped.
My mother was a Columbia House Record member that felt like some weird music timeshare cult where you get X number of CD’s for a buck and there were all kinds of finicky rules.
“I need to order 10 CDs this month, pick a few out.” I told her I liked that “Age” song on the radio by some blink band and to get me that if they had it. My mother must have seen the cover in the catalog when she ordered it, but when it arrived, I felt like she ordered me porn.
I rushed to my room, afraid that I’d get it taken away. On the front was a busty woman in a red bra to match her parted lips. She stretched a surgical glove as she put it on to “examine” patients.
After browsing the inner pamphlet, I realized I should not be blaring this record like I did with my previous favorite band, Blues Traveler, so I plugged in headphones every night to listen like I was receiving spy intel.
I knew the fast, heart-broken, immature songs had influence on me, I just didn’t realize it would completely change my life. Knowing that songs like this were possible, I formed my first band. We sucked. I loved it and kept playing.
Eventually I went to college to study music, and the professors asked profound questions like “What is music?” I never knew the correct answer. I think music can be any sounds strung together to form something that stirs you emotionally. Whether that be simple chords on a guitar with shitty lyrics howled over top or the sound of a skateboard scratching pavement and your buddies rushing over to check on you.
Whenever I listen to this record, no matter how old I get, I’m transported back to a time when all that mattered was half-assing school assignments, chilling with friends, and untimely growth spurts. Back to a time when being a bit ignorant was happiness and death seemed light years away.
Drink: “Aliens Exist”
In a French Press: Combine 5 oz Absinthe, 1 oz Coffee Vodka, 14 oz Club Soda and stir in 4 oz Woodruff Syrup and Orange Bitters. With tongs, add dry ice and decant into zombie glass. Garnish with a burning sage leaf and drink through a crazy straw.
Yield: 2 Servings, one for now and one for when you grow up.