TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I lie night after night
With the only one I hate more than myself

I feel my bleak presence in the eyes of others
I'm the perfect candidate for therapy I can't afford

Today I was called a cunt at a restaurant
I was trying to talk about a TV show

Where are my hazy pills.
I am plunging the toilet until they surface

SUBOXONE

Sometimes I catch a glimpse from when I had just gotten off heroin
The leaves on the trees were greener.

Today I plan on taking 4mg less.
The thought of it makes my
               eyes twitch.
How did I end up taking so much.

All this time I thought I was doing the right thing
paralyzed in my apartment til my dealer showed.

ON SEX

Today we pretended to be a couple 

HIT ME

you call any sex that we have vanilla

FANCY DIRT

I found your wallet
sent the stuff to the address
I found on your cute little ID
Along with your adorable credit card collection

I work at a dive bar once a week
2 months ago I worked somewhere else

TODAY WE HAD A CONVERSATION THAT WENT COMPLETELY WRONG

You had a sense of fondness in your voice, which is something I have never experienced.
You said she never fought, then stared at me because I fight.

I only wanted to understand what was going on.
I used her as an example, like I could be anybody.
I’m not sure I’m “here.”
You might be non-confrontational and that's just great.

I SOMETIMES THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN IT IS LATE EVEN 
THOUGH SOMEONE ELSE IS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME, PT. 2

It was cold in my apartment

I feel warm now
I was petting my giant cat
I miss your face

This is wrong
I never said that
I was in a fantasy I had been dreaming about for 4 years and 3 months

I pointed at "our" couch and "our" cat and "our" microwave
I enjoyed sucking your dick

I think I still love you
This is garbage