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A Hopeful Young Man on a Job Interview

I’m broke and eating chocolate ice cream out of a novelty helmet
I’m sweating because I’m wearing a sweater in the heat
to cover up the insane poison ivy on my arm
I’m a recently graduated English literature student
handing over my resume to the director of operations
of a minor league baseball team
as we watch the game from seats along the first base line
I’m hoping to be employed in the front office
I’m hoping to begin my career and start making some money
I’m watching the guy scan my not-very-relevant experience
Well, he says, We can offer you an internship
then he points at the mascot
a giant pink cow
Interns have to take turns being
Cylo, he says.
I noticed I’ve spilled a fair amount of ice cream on my sweater
Luckily it’s brown

 

Bloopers

Why can’t life have boinging goofy sound effects
like the baseball blooper reels I used to watch
with my brother Saturday mornings?
Feel like whoever created life really should have added those in.

 

image: Mike Andrelczyk


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