the dictionary says living being
although until recently I’d believed
this word meant apparition
a shade as in specter or shadow or ghost
the first story I wrote at age nine
after I’d seen an elbino deer a beutiful
wight creacher liveing nearby
similar to a color
that’s considered non-spectral
so not really a color but a light
one time the white deer came to my window
and blinked at me with star-speckled eyes
in Dutch the same root forms little child
in Old Saxon it creates thing or demon
shade as in opposite or shade as in night
not a color though
it resembles the translucent
breath against thin glass outside
shade as in eggshell or bone or porcelain
shade as in the distance
between scarce and scared and
sacred or pigments and figments
I didn’t know what could happen
yet to a moonbeam-like deer when
it glitters fluorescently through the trees
in Swedish the root becomes spirit
but I watched this one standing
there alone until the very
sight of him numbed me
like sucking on ice
like anything that dissolves over time
