Standing in the pieces of a broken guitar
I screamed at the summer for sleeping around
breaking my heart with the rising
in those days I drank wine from the bottle
stranded outside a university
and it was that night I decided to leave Idaho
smashing my guitar in the driveway
to see the fragments of a ballad
in just a short time I would arrive in Philly
where you graciously let me stay with you
later telling me that you were a witch
your boyfriend was a wizard and that it was up to you
to close the gateway to hell that had been opened up
in Oregon by a demon
who had murdered another witch named Betsy
you said the only way to close the gateway
was to make a human sacrifice
then you poured me a rum and coke begging me to drink it
in fact you followed me around the house
with the drink trying to convince me
until I began to believe that I was the human sacrifice
and that you had put a sedative in the rum and coke
this definitely convinced me not to drink it
so I locked myself in the basement with the cats
but the basement had not been cleaned in twenty years
and this included the cat shit my exposure to which
caused an allergic reaction so I spent the next few days
taking Sudafed and trying to avoid you as mucus
invaded every screen in my multiplex brain
and I just had to sneak off and leave you I'm sorry
but that night I left Boise I sat in a hallway of fluorescent lights
next to humans born in shampoo bottles
raised on distrust and Nintendo
I was excited to see you