You'll never raise an army 

How many t shirts is the ass model pushing
I'll never sell more books
than ice cream I've scooped
Everything is in its natural order

Is trying to want the same as wanting
I am trying to want
to be invisible
You can call all shit manure

The woman who admitted to lying 
about Emmett Till lived to 88
Drive your car into a building
Become an accountant

Two hands come together

The left is men who’d die for women in linen dresses 
and birth gay children and the right— 
clinically depressed graphic designers.
Together, they promote probiotic supplements.

Time isn't a flat circle, culture is.
All differences are word choice, aesthetic.

Our first trans president will be in the pocket
of Tony The Tiger’s gainsmaxxxing incel nephew, Brotein Barry 
while the new generation will reinvent the world 
exactly the same.

Your Miami uncle rolls over teary-eyed 
from last night’s veal dinner
and crushes a model UN model
and the sovereign globe of financial incentives 
she clutches like a teddy. 

We are a screen away 
from industry's oldest profession
and your girlfriend believes in revolution 
as a woman tucking a dollar into a g-string.

For universal appeal, I will change my gender
so I can be hated by everyone once in my lifetime

Asking for a friend 

Doc, what’s the condition
of someone who rewatches 
the same three sitcoms
for ten years straight? 

The doctor googles
Where is my money?
and punches the autism 
out of a claims adjuster 

That will be $4000,
an immigrant’s origin story, 
or 27000 emails 
at whatever reeducation corporation

allows you to ogle 
your married screenmates
at the rate of mild, persistent discomfort.
I ask What about my insurance?

I pass the secretary who quickly minimizes 
a line chart illustrating 
the decline of sexually active
high schoolers

while the waiting room stares
righteously into an unearthed tweet
from the current world’s hottest person 
that says ‘To change a nazi, love a nazi.’

Unfortunately, insurance only covers 
your mother’s favorite memory
of your childhood repurposed
as a pyramid scheme.

Wherever the bad guys are,
whoever you want them to be,
we’ll need a payment today–
$35, cash or credit

Can’t complain 

Florida man 

had a plan 

to follow summer 

around the world

Got as far 

as Florida

Take you to dinner  

Entering my prime, ‘96 Jordan.
Women turned on by reliability.
Men who don't talk too much.

Benevolent authority is a dying art.
Democracy is a neutered dog,
advert for dog whistles,
Slack groups you've never even dreamed of, buddy.

Me? I bide my time doing [REDACTED].
Houellebecq was right 
when he told a reporter there’s access 
only groupies are allowed.

The most edgelord artists are usually 
painfully normal irl.
#ImportantStories peddled by bloodthirsty empaths 
and the ant line passing the buck backwards.

Push-ups between stanzas,
I'd weld the Liberty Bell back together
through the pure heat of passion,
just to break it again

but then again, there are better things to do
than make a name for yourself