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It’s unfair how much we allow the sun to affect our moods photo

While eating Korean food quietly at my desk on my lunchbreak, I absentmindedly clicked on Nick Barrett’s facebook page. I stared at the picture he had selected as his profile picture for a few seconds. I couldn’t remember if I had slept with him or given him a blowjob. I couldn’t remember if he was a person that was bad for me, or if we had stopped talking while still remaining friends. Our moments of knowing each other happened at least seven years ago. So many forgotten blowjobs in my lifetime.

It’s unfair how much we allow the sun to affect our moods. It’s time to stop relying on sunsets to help move us away from tonight and into tomorrow.

A few weeks ago my boyfriend said that he could name every person he’s ever kissed. He said he could count all of them on his ten fingers. When I try to think of every person I’ve ever kissed, I just feel really hungry.

What if the reason we can’t recall certain events is because the other person attached to them doesn’t want us to?

My memory has never been something to brag about. I am the idiot elephant of bad memories. I used to walk all the way to school in 2nd grade before realizing I had left my backpack at home. My car battery died at least twenty times in the 10 years I owned a car because I would forget to turn off the headlights after I turned off the engine. Sometimes I would just forget to go to work altogether. Sometimes my boss would forget to schedule me.

Someone on the internet asked if the sun has bones. Does the sun have bones. Someone asked that. I wish I had thought of it first.

Lumosity is an app in the style of games developed and designed by neuroscientists to exercise memory and attention. I play it on days when I forget to bring a book with me. I played it today. Now, it seems, I will never forget a blowjob.

image: Madeleine Marie