You'll never raise an army 

How many t shirts is the ass model pushing
I'll never sell more books
than ice cream I've scooped
Everything is in its natural order

Is trying to want the same as

Do I look erratic
in my Robert Cavalli jeans?

Dexedrine,
obedient beauty,

a low-calorie
alternative

for excess.

I tell her I want some kissing, one
minute of mat kissing before lesson plans,
emails, dishes.

He’s feeding the gift horse / Paranoid discourse

I pull them apart like a harried cashier, rub the magenta-lined ones on my face, ink my cheeks with toxic blush.

My boy on the boulevard bubbling.
Triple wick rip tide in my mind.

sipping from a can of lukewarm non-alcoholic PBR in between the routine 

He said everyone is going to die except us
 

Well, it’s happened
there is a baby
I just found out 
and he is precious

there is a baby now
and the father is handsome
he has a Sherpa-like
quality that gives me calm

I am comforted:
he

To shut down and cool off like my laptop
All I need is wind and weed

and Tahiti exists even if
I will never see it

The only thing grows faster than corn here is despair.

i am on the bus
i think

I was six years old.
He was a German Shepherd named Andy.

crushes and snorts several thousand milligrams of sildenafil on a nsfw livestream and masturbates until his heart explodes

the sexiest quality in a partner was the ability to space out

where Mother had hung on the wall
our Hogarth prints and crucifix

I had started doing aerobics and running in place in our townhouse living room when Chad was at the golf shop. I’d found a recipe for whole wheat banana bread and I made a loaf every Sunday and every

after Charles Bukowski

Every orgasm I am not having is a poem in process.

The body rotates its symbols / like a stereoscope

I’m flinging sparks at a desk 
in the cold cell of civilization’s midnight 
 

I'm sick...

I am torn with longing for many unnameable things.