If I could be in The Fifth Element, I'd want to be in the scene where they pulled things out of the blue opera singer's belly. But I would want to keep pulling out new, surprising things.

In their blue jeans and Carhartt beanies, the boys are nearly as pretty as the girls who’ll never fuck them.

They buy a gram of coke and a gram of k because everyone knows that girls love drugs.

She was always looking in the mirror.

“How do you say, I am the wolf.”

“Je suis le loup. Tu es mon loup. You are my wolf.”

“Je suis le loup,” I say.

The night I met Ray Liotta I was backstage at a Kid Rock concert

True story.

You know Urmquast Meldoofi? The guy who writes the homeless features for The New York Times? Published a book not too long ago about the plight of the homeless in small urban

Augmentation, arrangements, verities, varial flips . . .

Marissa:
I try very hard to be polite and normal, like manners are weirdly important to me given I'm a huge fuckup generally but my inner world is probably a less palatable version of Helen’s 💀💀

Anna:
You’re out here trying to be a good happy girl 

Guys, you’ve got Earl fucking Palmer out here in LA. The guy played on “Tutti Frutti” for chrissakes. You don’t think he could be part of the next hot thing?

They say The Cloud is a bad metaphor for the internet because this makes it seem immaterial and like its presence doesn’t have a real physical impact on the planet. They say to remember the server

The Jessicas, a clique of girls all named, you guessed it, Jessica, were especially mean.

But how did I get it into my head, so early on, that friendship is something you’re supposed to have with only one person, and it’s supposed to be engulfing, and you’re not supposed to survive it?

Linsday Lohan smoking freely on the leather couch in the corner when she was supposed to be on house arrest at Chateau Marmont, and she came nightly, in fact, and always hugged us all at the end of the night, when she would leave to fuck our manager,

“You don’t want to be a lesbian,” she said. “Trust me. It’s a tough life.”

I could hear the cheering of the crowd, their silent plastic mouths were happy; I could taste the dirt kicked up by the elephants, smell the liquid butter sediment of cheap popcorn.

Now is the time to pass down his knowledge before it’s lost in a jail cell, or beyond the reaches of death.

            i think the other end of seinfeldian is like
            tiny things really sharply observed

“Are you looking under Entrees?” I asked.

He whipped his menu around. “No, it's in the Nibbles section. See where it says C-section shrimp, amid a local microgreen slurry?”

“Yes.”

I’m softest when I remember he was gone
from her too.

Not all her parties were sex parties and she didn’t always call me her girlfriend, but we rode that late summer into an Autumn of mostly lesbian orgies. Sabine driving the car, everyone else an

Few are lucky enough to realize when their destiny is laid before them. I am one of the lucky few. Mine came when my parents suggested a cruise to the Mexican Riviera from Christmas to New Year’s Eve.

I begin to write a eulogy for
a guy who doesn't exist.

I’m my mother’s best friend. I fear she is my only friend. My mother and I live alone together in the San Fernando Valley. We used to own two cats, both male, but they pissed the bed, my bed, so I

Everyone knew that they weren’t supposed to blame Margot for Joey’s suicide, but they couldn’t help themselves. It’s human nature to place the blame, sort out cause and effect. See a bullet wound,

On the drive from our apartment to the emergency room, you take Fullerton through DePaul’s campus. The silence between us makes sense, but without even your usual pop punk to pad it, it feels

Lately, it seems like all the women I know are leaving their husbands for other women. I moved from the big city back to the small Southern town where I went to college, and they began to flock to me,