The man at Hertz handed me the keys to a blue Corolla and smiled, revealing a large, distracting gap. In a boyish drawl he told me to return the car with a full tank, otherwise incur a $10 fee. I

The cop and strip club security guard had climbed onto the roof from outside the building and were trying to get in through the locked laundry room window. Claire let them in.

It took three of us to get a king size mattress stuffed into the tiny service elevator, pushing our shoulders into it so it would finally give and bend. It sprung out when the doors opened, like a

C lives in a building that’s beautiful and tall, and that’s sort of how he is, too, but I hope

to God no one ever tells him that.

Of course, I thought about these uncles. Even WhatsApp-d some of them when I remembered.

Long before I wore wigs to punish the men who had punished me, I wore them to channel Selma Blair. I was thirteen, my flat chest leaned over the bathroom sink. We were both brunettes, but that’s

“Have you tried hookers?
Church? God? Your dead
mother? Pills? Coke? Crack?”

To a degree rarely rivaled, Sean Kilpatrick lives for words. Tantrums is a testament to the last twenty years of his life, and includes absolutely batshit scripts, joyfully brutal fiction, and

He spiked a 104 fever and just as I called his neurologist to ask if we should head to the ER, my son seized for the first time in over 157 million seconds.

Today you are thinking about that time when you were thirteen years old.

Whenever it comes back, it’s important to remember that nothing truly bad ever happens to you. Indeed, this simple strategy

Bitter Water Opera is one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read.

The man that killed the world is being lauded as the better of the billionaires because he launched a cloned app that bans you if you aren’t positive. It’s like if you were stuck underneath a boulder

The second time I gave him head he couldn’t get hard. He said this never happens.

Someone behind him checked their phone and I saw the time. 1:36am. I thought about what would happen when the bar flicks the lights on and everyone scatter like roaches

Ball sweat, BO, ass, dirty armpits, nail polish, hairspray, feet, Newports, Bugler, Jack Daniels, vodka, cupcakes, tequila, donuts, Squirt, hot Cheetos, McDonald’s wrappers, coffee left sitting out for weeks...

His dreams fill with bell towers, stabbing deaths, his lifeless body dragged by split fingernails into consciousness.

“Because of nothing we are together.”
—KA

Now, there were two biographers and a documentary filmmaker circling her fame like the moons of Planet Kathy, goddess of love and lust rising in

It was not yet this day and age. A writer sent a proposal to his literary agent. The proposal concerned a major trauma. The agent submitted the proposal to a select few editors who made it the

She began imagining what it might have been like to be Agatha, crying and disheveled with both pale breasts exposed.

Let’s get more filthy!

“I’ve asked you here tonight to tell you I’ve told my wife everything. She’s fine with it, she really is, and I want to really emphasize that. She only asks that we’re not intimate in our bed. Hers

“Streetwise, streetwise.”

February 21 – Hungover. And sometimes that’s good.

In time, the questions become increasingly diffuse, numbers jumble and disappear, the symbolic order smears.

She especially liked the phrase for whipped cream, vzbitye slivki. For such a soft, sweet thing, its name was as firm as cement. 

If I could be in The Fifth Element, I'd want to be in the scene where they pulled things out of the blue opera singer's belly. But I would want to keep pulling out new, surprising things.