At my husband’s funeral, we drank Moscow Mules. I served them in copper mugs, just like you’re supposed to, and everyone thought it was adorable and heartfelt.
Larry didn’t try to talk to me, but whenever the silence got too thick, he would squeeze my knee or knead my shoulder. I was pretty fucked up on cold medicine, and it felt like he was grabbing a hold of my bones.
Ivan told me that the minute you step off the plane in America they hand you money. I keep waiting for someone to hand me money. No one has handed me money.
He watched the door, and saw that it wanted to open.
She had grown up and now lived in a cold climate that encouraged looking down.
Yoda sat atop the wreckage of his escape pod, still creaking from skidding into the murky swamp hours prior
The day my brother died, my mom ran naked in the street.
The guy at the hardware store convinced me to buy a bag of concrete mix.
I remember playing some songs at four in the morning and asking if you liked them. What the songs sounded like doesn’t matter now. I only... more
A few of the Greater Mosquitoes jogged by with their boards across the flats, all chest and teeth and bleach-brown... more
It’s weird at first. The tenants through the wall. Inhabiting what used to be one-half of their home. The clanging pots and toilet... more
Trigger
Up north she took her daughter for a walk to see the woods. Their host’s big yellow dog... more
At midnight there was a knock on our door, and though our hallmates often knocked at this hour
The film was a Disney re-release, full of rollicking creatures with wide-flung arms emitting human sounds through smiles that hummed and flickered like radio speakers. Blake was too drunk to follow what was going on, but he ate his popcorn and drifted in and out of sleep, and the things were laughing and singing to him.
We stepped into a washroom and I looked longer at the ring on her finger. “It’s just for starters.” She opened the... more
Her husband had grown the jalapeños in the backyard along with shy heirloom tomatoes and a few anemic cucumbers.... more
I ate the steak violently because that was how I loved, and a love this intense must always be met with more.
1. Pull the Release
Before opening the trunk, consider the world outside of it. Think of the miles of hot... more
CALL ME BACK, the wall of the defaced bathroom stall said.
Tori hugged the tree and went home and immediately started petting her dog
"I didn't want to ever be outside of this moment. I knew at some point I would look at the picture I'd just taken and feel an overwhelming sense of loss. I thought as long as we could manage to stay inside this particular hotel room, to avoid our phones and every person with whom we'd ever come into contact, we would continue to feel whole. We were revolutionaries, goddamnit. These were our accumulation of beautiful moments. Before the world fractured us. I don't expect you to understand how I became Brad Pitt in that moment, how we all just flew along down the highway. Bandits. Ex-patriots. In love with this countryside, if not this country. Paper Moon. The Last Picture Show. All of this shot in black and white. Only the final scene in color."
FOUR NEW ESSAYS BY CHLOE CALDWELL! Plus the original essays that made you fall in love with Chloe!
Jason Phoebe Rusch is a queer writer from the Chicago suburbs. His full-length debut Dualities explores gender and patriarchy from the perspective of a man who was socialized and is currently still read as a woman. He is interested in complication and nuance and messy human failing, his own and that of others.
