In the original cut of the movie, Ray says, “You wanna have a catch?” But test audiences were disappointed with the complete lack of father-son acknowledgement.

“It’s time to choose,” the prison warden gruffly informed the man on death row. 

On my way to somewhere else, I happen to pass my ex-boyfriend Rob’s apartment, months since I’ve seen him, but he’s been showing up in my sleep recently, making me roll and grumble.

That’s what your parents say when they come in with their Santa suits. But it’s not Saturday. It’s Tuesday. It’s time to go to school.

I’ve been shipped off to spend the summer with my uncle in Beijing. There is my face in the computer’s reflective meniscus, watching his stocks.

At the age of sixteen I worked a job digging holes. Sometimes it was ditches, other times it was retention ponds.The work was as hard as<a class="more" href="/web_features/lucky-numbers">... more</a>

We agreed to meet in a bar known as the ‘anus of the city.’ It had terrible lighting which obscured its ugly regulars. The regulars had heads like onions with names like Fred, Harry, Deborah, Henrietta. Years of drinking had withered their necks to the size of cocktail sticks and I didn’t pity them because I liked hating them.

She liked to take care of me and I let her. “Sorry about the bread,” she said, handing me a full plate. “It got soggy.”

We ate in the<a class="more" href="/web_features/all-women">... more</a>

The main thing about washing dishes at Ronny’s Café is I can come into work pretty fucked up and no one seems to notice—least of all Todd. 

We talked about a lot of things when we were high. We talked about a lot of things when we were sober, too. 

Dad’s side are all boring fucks. Mom’s side, god—all my mom’s brothers thought they were the outlaw rebel cowboys of New Jersey. Wild ones.<a class="more" href="/web_features/alcoholics">... more</a>

It was late July, those days in Chicago when summer is past its prime and everybody's waiting around for a bit of fun.

It’s official—I’m rocking a solid C minus in algebra. Lola is pulling straight A’s, and Mom looks mystified as she posts Lola’s successes on the front of our fridge.

They had taken all the milking cows but left us the wheat fields that fed them. Only Boy handles our cow creamer with two hands,<a class="more" href="/web_features/so-fast-in-silence">... more</a>

The photo I'm about to share is a sandwich, on a big brioche bun, cheese dripping out the sides, and juicy roast beef, beet red and<a class="more" href="/web_features/voiceless">... more</a>

Weird day at work. Serving at Maria’s, couple walked up to me, looked like they’d been crying, gave me one hundred dollars. Five twenties. 

My son is obsessed with points.

We were clowns playing death metal. That was our gimmick: whiteface makeup, red rubber ball noses, rainbow-colored wigs. We called<a class="more" href="/web_features/alptraum">... more</a>

Due to a clerical error, 265 students registered for my English 101 course. 

First, he ARRIVED – like the swans at Capistrano, or aliens in the desert, or, more likely, a flaming dessert.

“Who is that?” my<a class="more" href="/web_features/mouth-open-wide">... more</a>

You don't know it yet, but I gave you bad directions, and now I can't find you. For this, I am truly, truly sorry.

We’re all going to be late, for everything, and the people we keep waiting will add this to their mental list of evidence that we are not careful or observant or accountable.

After thirty days in rehab, you are “coined out.”

Dress Code

I’ve got this friend who’s passionate about dress codes. Her name is Sharon. Most of the jobs I’ve had, when it’s come<a class="more" href="/web_features/2-stories--3">... more</a>

When I stay over at Amelia’s there is a poster of Devils Tower over her bed and we trace the volcanic neck with our fingertips instead of sleeping. I give Amelia a Xanax and floss between each of her teeth.