Previously on... Episode 1: "The Landing"
Yoda had nothing with him other than the clothes on his back and the... more
All day Iphigenia
so far from the man I came to see.
Haven’t we tired of famous men? Shouldn’t I
have my shoulders back, chin... more
I didn’t realize, when we were falling in love, that her father was a pathological extrovert.
3) Almost all seemingly-ruined meals can be salvaged if you add something. About 80 percent of the time, that something is wine. And if a meal is going to fail, let it fail spectacularly.
the guy on NPR says. He says that carrots are still living
when you bite into them, that they have the... more
People are still here! Said the dog’s eyes.
There is a ceramic pot full of my mother’s cigarette butts on the front steps of my childhood home, hot-glued back together by my father after one of our cats saw a chipmunk, and went for it.
The first time I went to the opera I went because I wanted to see a man go to hell. My dad got us tickets to... more
it's dead at the bar so I say
"sure but I'm not in college
and I'm not wearing underwear
A dog would live too long. An axolotl would stink the house. Reptile equipment is confusing, complex. I’m allergic to cats. What I really... more
I have a tattoo on my back that’s almost a secret. My partner is the only one who has looked up close. It feels like it’s sometimes... more
“You should just ask yourself what your needs are,” Stephanie says. She raises an eyebrow, takes a sip of sangria, swallows... more
My dad says the sun don’t shine on the same dog’s ass every day. He says if you ain’t the lead dog the scenery never changes. If you can’t run with the big dogs then stay on the porch.
She hands me a carved pineapple. Big and heavy.
A stain; an unintended mark that, once made, resists removal. Inadvertent remnant and by-product, it is something made while we were looking elsewhere; evidence that our attention faltered, or that some vessel failed to function.
OUR CHEESE FRIES WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
The Friday after the sexual assault hearing of future Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, when we were all wondering if it mattered anymore what anyone said or did, I drove with a group of guys up into the Colorado mountains.
Moments before we depart for his fifty-fourth birthday bowling extravaganza, King-King decides he would rather eat lunch at Fat Nancy’s
In the open office, everyone has questions. Now you have questions.
It was 2006, and I had just arrived in Florida for a marine biology excursion sponsored by a certain theme park that dabbles in ocean rehabilitation. To spare myself from any lawsuits, let’s just call it Ocean Planet.
I live a life of humiliation, but the most embarrassing, most shameful thing I ever did was get thin for a couple years.
When I arrive at my assigned campsite I find. cheerios scattered everywhere.
