He said that he got a letter from a used car dealership that said that he either won 100k or a grill. He said he knew it was bullshit and he would come over, but he had to leave in the morning to go see what he won. If it was a grill he would give it to his friend’s girlfriend who was studying to be a cook and if it was 100k he would travel the world and he was sorry if he did that for leaving me. He came to visit me and I had anal for the first time and I pretended it hurt even though I liked it more. He didn’t believe that I was on birth control, even when I showed him the packet, holes punched in like belly buttons. After he left he texted me and said that he went to the used car dealership and it was based on a video roulette wheel and he won two dollars. I went to the bathroom and peed on top of the pee that he left in the toilet.
He asked me if it was okay and I said yes. He asked me how old I wanted to be and I said 12. I sat in my living room with all of the little red lights from appliances turned off. He sent me a video of him coming. He said that when he was a kid his dog started licking his balls and he came. He asked me if I would suck his friend’s dick for him, if I would suck a dog’s dick for him. I said sure. He texted me on his 37th birthday, and I felt guilty for how I thought he was. He said But you like it, right? My hands were on the phone. The calcium deposits in my nails were like small clouds, I could see shapes in them.