Useful tips for a woman

1.
When the drawstring comes off from the petticoat, you need to look at it as an opportunity to learn patience.

Pin a safety pin to the end of the drawstring and push

Snake Day

God is strange. He killed my father,
     and He is everywhere, all of the time.

He is spread across the twinkling shingles and the clean, white siding
     of this windowless

I’m a mineralogist now,

I tell Jake, as I show him my crystals
all neatly displayed in boxes. It makes

me feel like a scientist. But I use
the crystals to cure the bad things in my

life, to

I’m Writing from the Other Side of the Universe to Ask You How the Weather Is

This is a soft rain, my father says, his forehead a creased encyclopedia page. It is mao mao yu in Chinese, syllables

Song for 2 Phones

     What is that?
The line outside
the Maria Bamford standup
we went to last year.
          Send it to me.
     What is that?
A sugar maple on the hill
shedding Gatorade

Traffic

It’s 60 degrees in January so the birds have decided to just stick it out because who can afford the time-share anyway and the flowers bloom completely off-key like the conductor is drunk

...I'm part of this thing where fish learned to walk...

"lucky" and "trophy"

become translucent as they die...

"Silverado Crush" and "This Is How You Throw a Party in Mykonos, Bitch"

"Smile!," "The Finest," and "The Young"

"The First Time I Called Myself His Girl" and "You Google Drive-Thru Margaritas"

"commandment" and "do i miss you? that's none of my business"

There was a time I had a flower in my mouth...

"Splendido Splendente" and "Salt and Pepper or Salt and Vinegar"

I've got the alien walk down...

You make me want to write bad poetry...

"Elon Musk Is Moving to Austin" and "Good Joy"

"sorry to ping / i just want to know who was too good for who..."

"High School Kids and Gonorrhea" and "Bearclaw Asshole"

Anything I speak, I know to speak a second time: My brother 
is dying. My brother is dying. You are not my sister 

tearing through an Italian restaurant, blistering
with what I have given her

more intimate with the fit of a Gildan 
shirt versus this thing hovering some 
distance over my head always threatening 
grey blonde grey depending on mood
secrets held in pinprick dots

After the announcement & its sunder, 
              I flood the afternoon light into knots. 

Pocket a maiden name, banter into twilight & 
              its constituents. Mend the

There were no innocent bystanders,
except a herd of deer, unable to perceive
the color orange. My method consisted
in having a plan, but I was letting the dirt
do my thinking—I’d had it around so

Autocomplete

such a good boy you
fluffy little algorithm patched
with paws and droopy ears
bringing me sticks
always wanting
to play fetch
I throw a frisbee
into the woods
and today it