Key moments of our togetherness keep flashing before my eyes, lingering there.

Key moments of our togetherness keep flashing before my eyes, lingering there.

You told me you understood when I tried to explain why my face was so pale, my eyes so sunken, my hands so shaky. I was sure I was crazy—you not only said I wasn’t crazy, but asked me point blank if I was a spy.

You told me you understood when I tried to explain why my face was so pale, my eyes so sunken, my hands so shaky. I was sure I was crazy—you not only said I wasn’t crazy, but asked me point blank if I was a spy.

I’m still waiting for the day that my cum tastes like water and not martyrdom.

I’m still waiting for the day that my cum tastes like water and not martyrdom.

We fumbled about with each other for a few years, but things blew over before we could settle into anything like conjugality.

We fumbled about with each other for a few years, but things blew over before we could settle into anything like conjugality.

  There were times I could barely leave bed, but he insisted we spend weekends in Palm Springs.

  There were times I could barely leave bed, but he insisted we spend weekends in Palm Springs.

He unfolded his best plastic chair and sat it in the pool. He’d sweat and drink more liquor and point his gun at the ocean.

He unfolded his best plastic chair and sat it in the pool. He’d sweat and drink more liquor and point his gun at the ocean.

“I should punch your lights out. But that wouldn’t do either of us much good would it?”

“I should punch your lights out. But that wouldn’t do either of us much good would it?”

No one answered her when she asked where they were taking me. I'd heard of people being dumped in parking lots. I'd heard of people being flown to Texas, to fucking El Salvador, legal citizens with no practical recourse.

No one answered her when she asked where they were taking me. I'd heard of people being dumped in parking lots. I'd heard of people being flown to Texas, to fucking El Salvador, legal citizens with no practical recourse.

Here I am on a Saturday night, preparing for another dreadful evening with a man my father handpicked

Here I am on a Saturday night, preparing for another dreadful evening with a man my father handpicked

It goes unsaid that this game is really about kissing and groping.

It goes unsaid that this game is really about kissing and groping.

I was beginning to understand that when Nana said family protects family at any cost, she meant any cost.

I was beginning to understand that when Nana said family protects family at any cost, she meant any cost.

I smoke on the drive to the corporate bookstore, where I slip Eve Babitz’s Sex and Rage into my fur coat.

I smoke on the drive to the corporate bookstore, where I slip Eve Babitz’s Sex and Rage into my fur coat.

The position in which you are structurally dependent on surrendering the entirety of your scheme, and all the various information edges embodied in it, each time you want to add someone to your team is a bad position to be in.