We had a shared Google Doc titled ‘Ground rules for this relationship’.

my first hospitalization was at 13 after swallowing a bottle of Tylenol.

8: Perhaps we’ve misheard. Perhaps our facility with language will lead to our downfall. Perhaps the public lauding of our own personas is parasitic and causes continuous displacement.

The idea that mental illness can be effectively managed with drugs is a relatively new one

[The names of certain parties have been changed. Other names were never known and are now lost in time.]

I get maudlin and nostalgic over the Christmas holidays, mostly for a past version of

It was day three of the Democratic National Convention and day 19 of my short tenure as a Chicago resident. I had the day off work, and nothing to do but get on my Hunter S. Thompson shit and poke my nose around the old DNC to do some gonzo journalism.

When I told one of my professors that in my lunch hour, I’d met with a writer named Elizabeth Wurtzel, the old man rolled his eyes:

“That book was such garbage. She tried to write a second book, and a third, but they flopped.”

Imagine what happens inside gated communities behind closed doors, even in homes owned by a retired cop and special education teacher! I had nothing but my body and when I used it, I was called a devious animal.

I hook up with a nineteen year old at my big age. Driving over, I tell myself: act doting, let him initiate everything, he’s topping anyways, he has the power, you could pass for being two years

“When the president says your name in anger, the shit has hit the fan.”
—Ice-T

“I used to buy cigarettes here,” I inform him. I give bite-sized details about myself like this.

Foreshadowing!

She kept pulling my hand towards her clit but I was too tired to actually fuck her so I busted onto her milky tits.

In 1902, he finally cut off his own penis with a small knife that he'd managed to smuggle into his cell.

He hugged me, kissed the top of my head. “I was wrong,” he said. “Just be grateful I’m not drinking. I can’t do more right now.”

I’m sleeping with another writer who won’t stop talking about his Ex.

It should be noted that I really love to eat pussy.

Corey are you wasting time?

How would I know?

I don’t know.

“I’m a fan of being a good rebound”, Alexander says. “It’s really a sweet spot I think. That’s why its so heartbreaking. It’s so tempting. But that kind of level of closeness and independence is very

The best futures are the ones that never come.

I punched him on the cheekbone, with a closed fist.  He sat up, shocked.

I dabbed on hydrocortisone and Vagisil at every available restroom. Each soothing moment gave way to another of pain.

I think less about sunscreen than I do God.

By August I ended up having only enough energy to have sex with just the one man.

You: I can't live in a world where seventy-five percent of anything is perfect.