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50 Shades of Grey (book and upcoming film and action figures) photo
July 29, 2014 | movie reviews

50 Shades of Grey (book and upcoming film and action figures)

Sean Kilpatrick

I never knew a woman who wasn’t capable of killing me with a sentence. Until now?

The Sacrament photo
July 1, 2014 | movie reviews

The Sacrament

Sean Kilpatrick

My fault for side-stepping the usual male pretense at sensitivity or smug confidence of manipulation. I’ve saved it all for this fucking Lish frottage of a sentence.

Palo Alto photo
June 9, 2014 | movie reviews

Palo Alto

Sean Kilpatrick

You know shit’s over when they flunk a nihilist out of the suckass pedagogy for bringing too much optimism.

Blue Ruin photo
May 30, 2014 | movie reviews

Blue Ruin

Sean Kilpatrick

 inhabited a square-foot ghetto in Austin, cute by standards of being raised south of 8 mile, upside Detroit’s unfair putty

Only Lovers Left Alive photo
May 20, 2014 | movie reviews

Only Lovers Left Alive

Sean Kilpatrick

I won’t front about Jarmusch. He’s cooler than my ability to describe shit. He’s our genuinely cool... more

Under the Skin photo
May 8, 2014 | movie reviews

Under the Skin

Sean Kilpatrick

I enjoy when a formal beauty proves they have art. Gosling did. Even Shia. Franco tries. We all mean well. There’s lots of ways to feel pain besides being ugly

Enemy photo
April 30, 2014 | movie reviews

Enemy

Sean Kilpatrick

Enemy is the only title a film about relationships should have.

Noah photo
April 19, 2014 | movie reviews

Noah

Sean Kilpatrick

Noah is a film better than the book

Nymph()maniac Vol. 1 and 2 photo
April 9, 2014 | movie reviews

Nymph()maniac Vol. 1 and 2

Sean Kilpatrick

Why is Von Trier my man? He’s my man whose bruises I refuse to conceal. I have no debate or defense, he’s atop me. I must strangle myself in his defense. 

The Grand Budapest Hotel photo
April 7, 2014 | movie reviews

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Sean Kilpatrick

The twee hustle a brand of nostalgia excluding most. The characters involved are living out the party you missed through... more

The Lego Movie photo
March 11, 2014 | movie reviews

The Lego Movie

Sean Kilpatrick

And if a man in a dress shirt and sneakers mashing his foreskin upwind during urination upon yonder innocent lass, tweeting, “Soon I will be an integral part of your biography,” isn’t for you, here’s to you. 

Internal Affairs / Deep Cover photo
February 14, 2014 | movie reviews

Internal Affairs / Deep Cover

Sean Kilpatrick

Bean cures hetero monogamy of squareness

The Boys Next Door (1985) photo
January 31, 2014 | movie reviews

The Boys Next Door (1985)

Sean Kilpatrick

flipping out total blond and brunette loser pal road trip butt munch style and going 80s rampage at their sperm.

Happy Birthday to Me photo
January 1, 2014 | movie reviews

Happy Birthday to Me

Sean Kilpatrick

This movie is a semiotic fuck you

Escape from Tomorrow photo
January 1, 2014 | movie reviews

Escape from Tomorrow

Sean Kilpatrick

Behold the ass of Mickey

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: Gremlins photo
December 27, 2013 | Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking, movie reviews

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: Gremlins

Matt Sailor

Kingston Falls, USA is the most beautiful matte painting on earth. An idyllic little town with... more

Gaspar Noe’s Enter the Void photo
November 29, 2013 | movie reviews, Fiction

Gaspar Noe’s Enter the Void

Erin Kautza

Hanging panties like cat skin, or Books of Dead and leaving in nighties. The jambs are so low. Lights on high are... more

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: The Shining photo
November 15, 2013 | movie reviews, Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: The Shining

Matt Sailor

Halfway through The Shining, Jack Nicholson accepts a glass of whiskey from a ghost. It’s... more

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: The Bad News Bears photo
October 4, 2013 | Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking, movie reviews

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: The Bad News Bears

Matt Sailor

Walter Matthau, we assume, has had a bad day. Or a bad night. Or both. Hell, back it up... more

Don Jon photo
October 1, 2013 | movie reviews

Don Jon

Sean Kilpatrick

Did you know mites are accruing primo destinies beneath my fur? Their spit glues each lover I’ve loved deeper into the next. I am a... more

The Act of Killing photo
September 16, 2013 | movie reviews

The Act of Killing

Sean Kilpatrick

The American stillborn sense of justice has worn its grave so truthfully all things pious count no more and didn’t then. We... more

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan photo
September 6, 2013 | Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking, movie reviews

Great Moments in Cinematic Drinking: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Matt Sailor

At first, you think it’s going to be that old cliché:  men... more

Pacific Rim photo
August 9, 2013 | movie reviews

Pacific Rim

Sean Kilpatrick

FIRST GINORMOUS MONSTER GIFS DO THEIR GALL ON CITIES LIKE THE CONSTANT PENETRATION WE KNOW WE PARSE AND THEN ROBOTS CHILDREN HAND THEIR... more

The To-Do List photo
August 2, 2013 | movie reviews

The To-Do List

Sean Kilpatrick

Dearest Aubrey, Thou hovereth - petite creature, mosaically charmed, whose eschewal doth blemish my undeserving metabolism -... more

Only God Forgives photo
July 26, 2013 | movie reviews

Only God Forgives

Sean Kilpatrick

Note to critics: Nicolas Winding Refn is your better.

Recent Books

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Holiday Sale!

 

All SF/LD Books 20% off! Buy Person/a + Saul Stories and get Elizabeth Ellen (Poems) free!

 

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Saul Stories

Elizabeth Ellen

a set of linked stories with some of the same characters from Person/a and a lot of new ones and the world is the same but different from the world in Person/a and the stories take place in a year absent from Person/a. if that makes sense. contains the Pushcart Prize winning story "Teen Culture" from American Short Fiction, if that's something that moves you to buy books. <3

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Legs Get Led Astray

Chloe Caldwell

FOUR NEW ESSAYS BY CHLOE CALDWELL! Plus the original essays that made you fall in love with Chloe!