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Showing results for Movie Reviews

THE REVENANT photo
January 21, 2016 | movie reviews

THE REVENANT

Sean Kilpatrick

Please, let it fuck me if I have it. Right? Fucking USA, again. If one person is making a bona fide constructive statement, the other nine are making you their bitch.

THE HATEFUL EIGHT photo
January 19, 2016 | movie reviews

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

Sean Kilpatrick

I like getting fucked in my feelings.

INSIDE OUT photo
December 23, 2015 | movie reviews

INSIDE OUT

Sean Kilpatrick

Where is the sequel with everyone’s joy icon shown twenty years down the road, morphed into a cenobite, gnawing the bedpost it tied itself to, libidinously squelched?

HARD TO BE A GOD photo
December 21, 2015 | movie reviews

HARD TO BE A GOD

Sean Kilpatrick

Say we're sorry!

A Review of By the Sea, or, How to Be An Artist and Female, I.e. How to be Unlikable, or, How to (Not) Pander  photo
December 17, 2015 | movie reviews

A Review of By the Sea, or, How to Be An Artist and Female, I.e. How to be Unlikable, or, How to (Not) Pander 

Elizabeth Ellen

And now I am left wondering how The End of the Story might have been different, what more we might have found out, had ‘Vincent’ not been a presence in that flowered armchair, had Lydia not been conscious of him invoking rules: there shouldn’t be any intimate scenes.

SICARIO photo
December 4, 2015 | movie reviews

SICARIO

Sean Kilpatrick

Now our privates got a timeline.

Manson Family Vacation photo
December 1, 2015 | movie reviews

Manson Family Vacation

Sean Kilpatrick

Let’s touch hands across the rubble.

The Green Inferno & Knock Knock / Wolf’s Hole at Spectacle Theater photo
November 3, 2015 | movie reviews

The Green Inferno & Knock Knock / Wolf’s Hole at Spectacle Theater

Sean Kilpatrick

I’m a stockpiling cakemix of a man trapped in the well Tarantino dug for me around age eleven. 

Mistress America photo
October 15, 2015 | movie reviews

Mistress America

Sean Kilpatrick

...darling Jennifer Jason Leigh. An actress who knows pain and ain’t fucking around. I miss her for his art. Margot at the Wedding is devastating. It is pursed-lips mean. You can’t measure its parsimony on heart. 

Chappie / Snowpiercer / Alien 5 photo
October 1, 2015 | movie reviews

Chappie / Snowpiercer / Alien 5

Sean Kilpatrick

If you’re of the age to have returned that difficult game (I’m too trapped nowhere between gen Xers and millennials to pipe up about this or anything, though I favor the X for its aesthetic absurdities pluming in the early-to-mid 90s culture that raised me), or are of the mindset to grouse at the receipt for any difficult entertainment, then your whole life is probably you snitching on yourself under the guise of being genuine, and you should continue to embrace your deciphered and dimensionally rounded community of bullshit Star Wars enthusiasm which predominately infects the arts (or get fucked in your ball cap). 

Tomorrowland photo
September 24, 2015 | movie reviews

Tomorrowland

Sean Kilpatrick

If someone insists you smile, it might as well be rape. This movie found a way to nitpick itself the way these types nitpick everyone around them about presenting the right attitude. Someone in this land will always be subjecting you to the editorial fructose of their imperial fertility. If Bird’s intent was to satirize our fretful American condition, I didn’t understand, because I left the fucking theater right when the film began – about an hour in.

Irrational Man photo
September 15, 2015 | movie reviews

Irrational Man

Sean Kilpatrick

Only someone whose amazing art can no longer hide them from the petty philanthropy hopefully juxtaposing the asinine incest of their crimes would issue such a dollar bill of a sentence. 

Faults / Cheap Thrills / The Shield / The Corndog Man photo
September 4, 2015 | movie reviews

Faults / Cheap Thrills / The Shield / The Corndog Man

Sean Kilpatrick

Being human is about: what’s unobtainable today? 

The End of the Tour photo
August 13, 2015 | movie reviews

The End of the Tour

Sean Kilpatrick

To recover from the grand wizard of empathy’s commencement speech, I have since camped at grocery stores, when I can afford them, awaiting the flotation device of my college degree’s supposed intellectual extenuation of the human gridlock.

Terminator Genisys / Jurassic World photo
July 28, 2015 | movie reviews

Terminator Genisys / Jurassic World

Sean Kilpatrick

Hopefully, I’ve ingested enough synthetic flavor to stop my heart real early. Or to maintain tinnitus for the length of a harassing phone call. If not, the only responsibility of the adult is to be their own Kevorkian.

Montage of Heck / The Wolfpack / Amy  photo
July 22, 2015 | movie reviews

Montage of Heck / The Wolfpack / Amy 

Sean Kilpatrick

Then the world boned its youth one worse. Even if you weren’t participating, they made not giving a fuck popular. 

The Tribe photo
June 18, 2015 | movie reviews

The Tribe

Sean Kilpatrick

Cinetopia is a Detroit film festival for fresh retirees on a cinematic tour bus who belch knowingly whenever they mistake their hunched way into an obscene masterpiece. 

Ex Machina / Captain Phillips photo
June 16, 2015 | movie reviews

Ex Machina / Captain Phillips

Sean Kilpatrick

Some animals devour their young to cease lactation so they can fuck more often. People tripped over the invention of a conscience for no other happenstance than to keep our numbers plump.

The Reconstruction of William Zero / Lost River / Buzzard photo
June 5, 2015 | movie reviews

The Reconstruction of William Zero / Lost River / Buzzard

Sean Kilpatrick

Gosling has an understanding beyond the Franco. There’s a certain silence to his pose. I dig his tone, even if he’s sexy.

Mad Max Fury Road / Tender Napalm / Zeitgeist Theatre photo
May 22, 2015 | movie reviews

Mad Max Fury Road / Tender Napalm / Zeitgeist Theatre

Sean Kilpatrick

Not belonging feels more and more like banging a rough cookie on the counter these days. I would take pride in my crumbs, if I knew how. It’s good to be alive like a delinquent spaz.

It Follows photo
April 11, 2015 | movie reviews

It Follows

Sean Kilpatrick

PS – This film deserves its every cult and to be ranked even beyond into the commonly over-valued status of a classic

Top Five photo
March 25, 2015 | movie reviews

Top Five

Sean Kilpatrick

Seinfeld near tits is an innovative sight. A billionaire can only be cropped next to libidinous events with CGI. It appears comedians struggle to retrieve their teeth back from fame. 

Starred Up photo
March 20, 2015 | movie reviews

Starred Up

Sean Kilpatrick

I think Hemingway killed the subordinate clause because it looked at him slantward from the shelled nobility of an era that deserved Victorianism.

American Sniper photo
February 11, 2015 | movie reviews

American Sniper

Sean Kilpatrick

I’m troubled to notice odd similarities between my nihilism and the right wing. 

The Imitation Game / Foxcatcher photo
January 31, 2015 | movie reviews

The Imitation Game / Foxcatcher

Sean Kilpatrick

Between The Social Network and The Imitation Game, we can decipher precisely how our genitals should disrobe us. I,... more

Recent Books

Preview_cropped_flashes_front_cover

Flashes of Life

Micah Ling

Featuring poems that engage songs by artists ranging from The White Stripes to Bruce Sprinsteen, David Bowie to Otis Redding; lists of albums; daily timestamps as poems; remixes and everything in between; Flashes of Light evokes not just the way we listen to music, but all the ways we interact with the music in our life.

 

Preview_cropped_rockwell_cover_sep8_alt

Over For Rockwell

Uzodinma Okehi

They say it takes an average person about 10 years to master a given thing. This was my thinking in 1995 when I dropped out of college in Iowa City to draw comics.

 

Preview_cropped_baseball_handbook_-_aaron_burch___jensen_beach

Baseball Handbook

various

We’ve had the idea and wanted to do some kind of “best of our online baseball issues” for years, and here is one iteration of that book. We’ve been doing it for so long (this year is our 13th!), we have too many favorites, so we made some arbitrary rules...