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The Green Inferno & Knock Knock / Wolf’s Hole at Spectacle Theater photo
November 3, 2015 | movie reviews

The Green Inferno & Knock Knock / Wolf’s Hole at Spectacle Theater

Sean Kilpatrick

I’m a stockpiling cakemix of a man trapped in the well Tarantino dug for me around age eleven. 

Mistress America photo
October 15, 2015 | movie reviews

Mistress America

Sean Kilpatrick

...darling Jennifer Jason Leigh. An actress who knows pain and ain’t fucking around. I miss her for his art. Margot at the Wedding is devastating. It is pursed-lips mean. You can’t measure its parsimony on heart. 

Chappie / Snowpiercer / Alien 5 photo
October 1, 2015 | movie reviews

Chappie / Snowpiercer / Alien 5

Sean Kilpatrick

If you’re of the age to have returned that difficult game (I’m too trapped nowhere between gen Xers and millennials to pipe up about this or anything, though I favor the X for its aesthetic absurdities pluming in the early-to-mid 90s culture that raised me), or are of the mindset to grouse at the receipt for any difficult entertainment, then your whole life is probably you snitching on yourself under the guise of being genuine, and you should continue to embrace your deciphered and dimensionally rounded community of bullshit Star Wars enthusiasm which predominately infects the arts (or get fucked in your ball cap). 

Tomorrowland photo
September 24, 2015 | movie reviews


Sean Kilpatrick

If someone insists you smile, it might as well be rape. This movie found a way to nitpick itself the way these types nitpick everyone around them about presenting the right attitude. Someone in this land will always be subjecting you to the editorial fructose of their imperial fertility. If Bird’s intent was to satirize our fretful American condition, I didn’t understand, because I left the fucking theater right when the film began – about an hour in.

Irrational Man photo
September 15, 2015 | movie reviews

Irrational Man

Sean Kilpatrick

Only someone whose amazing art can no longer hide them from the petty philanthropy hopefully juxtaposing the asinine incest of their crimes would issue such a dollar bill of a sentence. 

Faults / Cheap Thrills / The Shield / The Corndog Man photo
September 4, 2015 | movie reviews

Faults / Cheap Thrills / The Shield / The Corndog Man

Sean Kilpatrick

Being human is about: what’s unobtainable today? 

The End of the Tour photo
August 13, 2015 | movie reviews

The End of the Tour

Sean Kilpatrick

To recover from the grand wizard of empathy’s commencement speech, I have since camped at grocery stores, when I can afford them, awaiting the flotation device of my college degree’s supposed intellectual extenuation of the human gridlock.

Terminator Genisys / Jurassic World photo
July 28, 2015 | movie reviews

Terminator Genisys / Jurassic World

Sean Kilpatrick

Hopefully, I’ve ingested enough synthetic flavor to stop my heart real early. Or to maintain tinnitus for the length of a harassing phone call. If not, the only responsibility of the adult is to be their own Kevorkian.

Montage of Heck / The Wolfpack / Amy  photo
July 22, 2015 | movie reviews

Montage of Heck / The Wolfpack / Amy 

Sean Kilpatrick

Then the world boned its youth one worse. Even if you weren’t participating, they made not giving a fuck popular. 

The Tribe photo
June 18, 2015 | movie reviews

The Tribe

Sean Kilpatrick

Cinetopia is a Detroit film festival for fresh retirees on a cinematic tour bus who belch knowingly whenever they mistake their hunched way into an obscene masterpiece. 

Ex Machina / Captain Phillips photo
June 16, 2015 | movie reviews

Ex Machina / Captain Phillips

Sean Kilpatrick

Some animals devour their young to cease lactation so they can fuck more often. People tripped over the invention of a conscience for no other happenstance than to keep our numbers plump.

The Reconstruction of William Zero / Lost River / Buzzard photo
June 5, 2015 | movie reviews

The Reconstruction of William Zero / Lost River / Buzzard

Sean Kilpatrick

Gosling has an understanding beyond the Franco. There’s a certain silence to his pose. I dig his tone, even if he’s sexy.

Mad Max Fury Road / Tender Napalm / Zeitgeist Theatre photo
May 22, 2015 | movie reviews

Mad Max Fury Road / Tender Napalm / Zeitgeist Theatre

Sean Kilpatrick

Not belonging feels more and more like banging a rough cookie on the counter these days. I would take pride in my crumbs, if I knew how. It’s good to be alive like a delinquent spaz.

It Follows photo
April 11, 2015 | movie reviews

It Follows

Sean Kilpatrick

PS – This film deserves its every cult and to be ranked even beyond into the commonly over-valued status of a classic

Top Five photo
March 25, 2015 | movie reviews

Top Five

Sean Kilpatrick

Seinfeld near tits is an innovative sight. A billionaire can only be cropped next to libidinous events with CGI. It appears comedians struggle to retrieve their teeth back from fame. 

Starred Up photo
March 20, 2015 | movie reviews

Starred Up

Sean Kilpatrick

I think Hemingway killed the subordinate clause because it looked at him slantward from the shelled nobility of an era that deserved Victorianism.

American Sniper photo
February 11, 2015 | movie reviews

American Sniper

Sean Kilpatrick

I’m troubled to notice odd similarities between my nihilism and the right wing. 

The Imitation Game / Foxcatcher photo
January 31, 2015 | movie reviews

The Imitation Game / Foxcatcher

Sean Kilpatrick

Between The Social Network and The Imitation Game, we can decipher precisely how our genitals should disrobe us. I,... more

Inherent Vice photo
January 27, 2015 | movie reviews

Inherent Vice

Sean Kilpatrick

I only look you in the eyes if I’m sure the condom’s on.

I Love You, Apple, I Love You, Orange photo
January 9, 2015 | movie reviews

I Love You, Apple, I Love You, Orange

Sean Kilpatrick

This is the first magic realist mumblecore psychological love story thriller shot over eight years of Claymation. 

Polyester in Odorama / The Room with Tommy Wiseau in person photo
December 31, 2014 | movie reviews

Polyester in Odorama / The Room with Tommy Wiseau in person

Sean Kilpatrick

and it is always okay to be cruel in the arts, whether people like him are in on it or not, because who cares, internet (hey internet, how do I take a selfie of my fucking concern for others?)

The Interview photo
December 25, 2014 | movie reviews

The Interview

Sean Kilpatrick

 Shucks, you know the only racism worth a damn comes from poverty. I like Franco when he’s silly.

Ninja Turtles / Interstellar / Guardians of the Galaxy / Birdman photo
December 23, 2014 | movie reviews

Ninja Turtles / Interstellar / Guardians of the Galaxy / Birdman

Sean Kilpatrick

PS. I was part of an email the studio campaign in the early 2000s to openly mock the idea of a Dawn of the Dead remake, before remakes were a condition.

whiplash photo
November 27, 2014 | movie reviews


Sean Kilpatrick

Is Chekov why I’m so sad? I’ll give you twenty bucks for a plot in literature that acknowledges his talent, but ignores him slightly more.

Gone Girl photo
November 7, 2014 | movie reviews

Gone Girl

Sean Kilpatrick

A relationship’s complacency can only end atop the stripped sinew of an erect Doogie Howser. We’re not gonna hide at being perfect.

Recent Books


Flashes of Life

Micah Ling

Featuring poems that engage songs by artists ranging from The White Stripes to Bruce Sprinsteen, David Bowie to Otis Redding; lists of albums; daily timestamps as poems; remixes and everything in between; Flashes of Light evokes not just the way we listen to music, but all the ways we interact with the music in our life.



Over For Rockwell

Uzodinma Okehi

They say it takes an average person about 10 years to master a given thing. This was my thinking in 1995 when I dropped out of college in Iowa City to draw comics.



Baseball Handbook


We’ve had the idea and wanted to do some kind of “best of our online baseball issues” for years, and here is one iteration of that book. We’ve been doing it for so long (this year is our 13th!), we have too many favorites, so we made some arbitrary rules...