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A Freak in the Midwest photo

then I see her standing there in the corner of the place all by herself amidst these rancid old men and her style seems cool and expensive so I sashay over and smile a bit more drunkenly than I really am just so that she won’t suspect me of anything and it must be working because there is just the slightest amount of talking with our tongues clicking around in our mouths pointlessly like what we were saying really matters to one another but the thing is we can see into each other’s eyes and I make her feel sure she has found a friend in me and she keeps talking and I keep nodding and gasping like something interesting has fallen from her lips but the truth is she is just like the others in that she’s about as tall as me and about fifty to fifty five pounds heavier and that’s almost always a sure sign that everything will fit properly but we’re not quite there yet and even though she’s looking at me and really feeling like she’s being understood her friend keeps creeping back over to check on her like I’m going to do something to her or maybe he just wanted a bit of me to himself but I think we all know that’s not really on the menu and the friend keeps getting pulled away to make out in the corner with some geezer buying him red headed sluts anyways and though he cares he just keeps leaving her alone with me to do my bidding which I’m not finding at all difficult as she’s deadly desperate for someone to talk to and it’s clear she could talk for days and days and probably months without stopping for air because that’s just how much she has to say and that’s also how much she’d like to tell her real friend who is now on the old geezer’s lap in full cowgirl position on top of a bucking barstool and he’s probably talked this poor girl’s ear off for the past twenty years since they met in pre-k about how his skin is blemished or how his pubes look weird or how his father doesn’t understand his alternative lifestyle even though he bought him a miata for graduation as if there were any gayer car to be had and now she wants to dance because there’s a lady gaga song on and i do it because her style is so fucking smashing but she’s wearing a shawl so everyday people can’t really tell that she’s also decked out in designer shit like her black alexander wang jersey dress which is easy and cheap looking but actually super expensive and now we’re on the little dance floor and it’s only us and everyone is pretending not to watch and she’s starting to feel more comfortable so she wants to grind out her dance fantasies with me as a flaccid mannequin for rubbing up against and to use for balance but I’m fine with it because there’s cock on the clock and her friend is out the door with the geezer’s tongue down his throat and she doesn’t even notice because she’s having such a good time and the song is over so we go to the bar and she rolls her eyes when she realizes that her friend has left her which he apparently always does she says and she tells me how Marcus never really sticks around when she needs him like she does now but not really because I’m here and I always make everything better for fat girls so to help I call out to the bartender who ignores the line of oldies at the bar and comes over right away because I fucked him twice last week after closing and he’s hoping for another repeat but I already know it’s not going to happen again because I have to close this whole deal with this chick I’m already involved with but I won’t tell him that now because I want a couple of drinks which he’s happy to give us on the house and she takes two of the shots and I take three because she says she’s already a bit tipsy and I’m not nearly enough and the creamy rumchata drips down our throats and we smile and she looks me up and down for the first time completely and realizes I’m wearing these massive glittery pumps which I tell her I got a few months ago in madrid which isn’t a complete lie but enough of one to make me seem exotic and well traveled and she tells me how much she loves my leopard print jeans and the giant gold rope draped around my neck and I’m feeling honest and sure of what’s to come so I don’t see the harm in telling her the chain is fake but the shoes are really louboutins and she gasps and says she has a pair at home with googly eyes all over them but she’s too scared to wear them because she thinks some of the eyes might fall off if she’s not careful and I tell her if she has it she should wear it and we get into how she loves fashion which I could already tell and I know but don’t tell her that it’s really the only reason I’m talking to her and she goes on and on about how she buys all these designer clothes including lots of vivienne westwood and damir doma but she never wears them because here in youngstown ohio she’d look like a freak but I tell her she should never think that looking like a freak in the midwest is bad thing and I tell her it just means she has good taste and style and she smiles and agrees and I get one more shot from the bartender whose name I can’t recall and I offer to get a cab to take her home and she invites me over like I thought she would because her friend was supposed to spend the night at her apartment but he’s obviously busy so I agree to go but with a fake thinking before I say yes so that it looks like I might really let her down after our whole bonding experience in this bar and I wait until it looks like her eyes are welling up just a little with the tears of rejection and then I tell her I’m in and this part is always critical to get right or else you end up looking too eager and they’ll just let you in the door to their place and then give you some pizza or something which I don’t want but she is so fucking happy that she hops up and down and hugs me tight like a really sweet girl which makes me feel nice for a second but the bartender is making his o face at me as a hint so I wait for him to turn around for another bottle and hustle off with my new bff out the door and into a cab before bartender man can come out to find me so the cab drives us up through the streets and my new friend’s head bobs around on her neck as she looks out the front windshield and shouts directions at the cab driver who she keeps calling cab driver every few seconds before she issues another useless direction so the driver asks for her id to see where she lives which she gives him with a slurred giggle and he hands the id back to her and she sort of falls over into a heap over my lap which she keeps warm and her hair smells sweet like fruit and I only wake her up when we get to her condo and I go through her little chanel clutch to get money to pay the cab driver  who I tip extra with her cash to help me get her staggering ass into the place and she’s trying to talk to us but it’s not making sense even to her so she just starts giggling and I get out her keys and figure out which one gets us in the door and I thank the cab driver again as we drop this fashion hog on the leather sectional and he takes off and I’m thinking that daddy must have bought everything in here because I think she’s just twenty two or something and she doesn’t seem all that ambitious but as I’m walking around she starts snoring so I realize this isn’t going to take as long as usual and I find her bedroom which is pink and all ocd’ed out and symmetrical and almost empty and she has all these framed pictures of herself and some of them have her friend from the bar in them and I just glance at these while I walk to the closet and open the door and click on the light and thank god that it’s a walk in and my instincts were fucking dead on and my mouth starts to water but I’m not a total jerk so I carefully rifle through the shit and realize she wasn’t lying to me because there’s so much westwood stuff and damir doma and it all has tags on it and I feel a little bit better because at least I’ll wear them and that’s what they were made by italian hands for but it’s not like I’m going to take it all or anything and I’m not even sure she’ll notice or remember I was here so I pick out an oversized cashmere sweatshirt that looks like it’s been through the wash one too many times but that's how it’s supposed to look and then I find this glitter soaked asymmetrical dress and there’s always a need to accessorize so I just swipe a pair of over oversized miu miu shades and a long gold necklace with a little feather pendant and I see that none of her shoes would fit me because she’s a size eight or something ridiculous for how much of an amazon she is but that’s okay because I have enough and I can still hear her snoring out there on the couch so I tuck my choices into a little louis vuitton tote I spot slouched away in the corner and put everything that’s left back as it was and click off the light and close the door and on my way out I kiss the girl's cheek and she stirs just a little bit so I can see her smile for a second before I slip out the door and

image: Tammy Mercure