hobart logo
If Anyone Will See This photo

The following text was stripped, edited, and reassembled from the thousands of comments on a potentially illegal YouTube upload of ‘Song on the Beach’ from the movie Her in an attempt to render the reading experience I had last year when the song was not yet available on Spotify or released officially as part of the OST and I really wanted to hear it.

 

I can't decide whether I want this played at my wedding or funeral.

 

I fell in love to this song. I come back all the time to relive the moment.

 

This song makes me want to cry over every past mistake and finally forgive myself.

 

From before I met him until we broke up, I associated this song with the quiet phase of a relationship after the magic fades. Now it sounds more ambiguous to me, not just like the lifespan of the magic before a relationship, but also the lifespan of the relationship itself, the mutual understanding that perhaps the two aren't destined for each other despite the intensity and integrity of their emotions.

 

I know this is gonna be lost in the comments, but here’s my story: my ex and I spoke every day on FaceTime and though we saw each other twice a year it was a lot like Theo and Samantha. One day I came home and there was a text: Sorry I can’t be with you anymore, I really love you, sorry. Then she blocked me. Recently I was on a flight coming home from a holiday, and when I saw the south coast of England where she lives, it was covered in mist and fog. I fell asleep and dreamt I was down there with her and we were happy. Then I woke sick with the realization that our whole relationship was like that—a simple trick of the human mind.

 

This was your favorite song from your favorite movie. I used to listen to it to remind me how lucky I was to be with you. I used to tear up when I heard it. I only broke up with you because I'm too fragile and broken right now to be in a dependent relationship. I'm not good for you. Really. But being apart from you is too hard and you think I'm glad I did it. So here I am missing you again and listening to this song and actually weeping.

 

My ex watched this movie again last night and then texted me saying he misses and loves me. I told him I feel the same, and it really messed me up. “I love you” means something different to us than it does to everyone else I guess. I showed my current boyfriend the texts today and he almost broke up with me. I had to block my ex’s number. If he really needs me, he’ll find a way. I’m hoping he’ll see this. He frequents this song. If you’re reading this, I’m still always here for you if you truly need me. But we need to stay away from each other, for now.

 

Hani, in the millionth of a chance that you would find this comment, I still love you. I want to bash my skull out for the crazy things I’ve done. I’m fucked up. I’m hopeless. I’m nothing but a space dust ghost. I’ve had a lot of time to think, to replay what I did. It’s kinda crazy, isn't it? For me to write this knowing you'll never see it. Yet a tiny sliver of me is hoping that you do see this and by some miracle decide it’s worth another try.

 

My ex was in a real bad relationship before me. He made her feel worthless. When we got together she started to treat me like he had done to her. For some reason, I accepted it. Soon after breaking up with me, she got a new boyfriend, and after six months she was pregnant. What hurts the most is that now she realizes how bad she behaved when we were together. She cries about it. We were together eight years, now she has two kids, and we live in the same town. Meanwhile I’m single, but this movie made me want to try dating again. I know people don't care to hear my story, but it helped me write it down and I know she would never find this.

 

I watched this film for the first time last week. My ex-girlfriend had to move across the country, and we still kept in touch up until three weeks ago because it was too hard on both of us.  I live by myself now and feel like Theo in the movie because I lost someone who I loved and communicated with her only through the telephone and text messages the last four months. I feel so empty. I worry I won’t feel that same connection again. I think of her all the time and wish she would come back home. Well, that's it. It's midnight. I let my emotions out on a YouTube comment. How sad is this? Lol. Goodnight everyone.

 

I have never posted a comment on any YouTube video, but it’s 5 am and it’s the first time in my life I’ve experienced a broken heart. I feel like I’m dying. My ex used to play this song before sleeping. I never realized she was thinking of someone else that whole time until we broke up. The sad part of building trust, love, passion, and an overall relationship with someone is that it won’t last forever, but goddamn it does sure feel like it will.

 

Please, don't ever leave me, even if you don't love me anymore.

 

In another life in another time, right, b?

 

Hey, everyone on here is talking about their exes, but shut the fuck up. . . you had a love story.

 

I’ve never had love. I feel like nobody can understand my thoughts, my behavior, my feelings. Maybe that's the reason I'm alone, listening to this song with my headphones, thinking that maybe there's someone, the right one, somewhere, thinking about the same thing. Then I smile and hope we will meet some day. When we do, we’re going to listen to this on the beach.

 

I’ve loved him for over two years and we never became anything more than friends. I’ve been there for him through it all, and he never saw it, and it hurts to know that we will never be together. I want to just look at him and tell him I love him and I hate him at the same time. I just want him off my mind and that’s never going to happen. I wish he was reading this right now.

 

I sent you this song, but you don’t understand what it means to me. I told you to read the comments knowing you’ll probably never find this one. I’m in love with you, but we’ll never grow together. I think this song helps me accept that.

 

There is just an indescribable hole inside of me. I don’t know where it comes from. A feeling that no matter what I do, it’s just temporary amusement and contentment. It scares me that this is all I will ever be. Materially satisfied, barely alive. Sometimes I start to feel like none of this is real. How can I miss things I’ve never had? Do I ever feel love the way I feel this song?

 

It’s hard to look your mother, the women who gave birth to you, in the face and tell her you don’t want to live anymore. I just sit in my bed when it's cold and cloudy and stare blankly at the walls. I yearn to be sitting on the cold sand somewhere on the east coast, far away from everyone I know. I'm so tired of feeling. I love and I get pushed aside. I search and search and I come up with no solutions. But it's a nice moment, whenever I hear this.

 

I was at a casino with my mom and little brother, and we had a balcony room on a top floor. My mom was gambling and my brother was sleeping. I was on the balcony at about 2AM. This was by the sea and there was a breeze and a bridge with lights in the distance, the sky a little cloudy but you could see the moon and stars. In the middle of the song, I climbed up the balcony rails and sat there a few seconds before going on the other side and holding the rails tight. I almost let go, I mean I wanted to, but I just looked around and listened to the song and started crying and then I climbed back down. Somehow I was fine about thirty minutes after that.

 

No one will see this comment, but I just got released out of a mental hospital and feel so confused. Where do I go from here? Just a week ago I was close to my life coming to an end. My ex-girlfriend hurt me in ways that you can’t even imagine, and now my boyfriend broke up with me. Why do people leave me? I sound like I’m just stuck in my own self-pity. I listen to this song from time to time and it never fails to strike me as gorgeous and breathtaking. It makes me feel like I’ll find love again. I’ll get through this. Until then, I’ll be here.

 

My father took his own life unexpectedly a few weeks ago and they tried to save him but couldn't. I have not really been able to cry except for when I was able to hold his hand before he fully passed away in the hospital. This music has brought me so much joy over the years and today I was able to finally cry and feel everything, so many memories sparked of the time we did have. I am grateful. Thank you for playing these notes in this specific order.

 

I listened to this song tonight because I wanted to feel something again. I didn't bargain for this though. I felt the loss, the pain, the regret, the sorrow. It came back so fast I'm almost laughing. I feel some sort of forgiveness. I feel relief. The stories told in the comments inspired me to write this comment. I’m pretty sure nobody will see it but I hope you share the same love and admiration for this song and this movie as I do.

 

I know many of you are not going to see this comment. But I'd just like to say that if anyone going through heartache happens to read this, the devastating truth is that it will hurt and it will take time but that doesn't mean you'll be broken forever even if it does feel that way now. My first breakup, I would go nights without sleeping and days without eating and I would listen to this song at 3AM while reading countless articles about how to rekindle a broken relationship. I feel almost nostalgic about those three months. I learned a lot about myself and what it feels like to lose. And just look at all the people in these comments longing for someone.

 

The internet is such a hateful place—but if you read the comments on a piece like this you'll see people sharing their hearts, helping each other up, caring about each other. When you see a comment on a video like this, you know that that person is here, listening, for the same reason you are. They wish, they dream and they hope—both to live and to die. And right now, they are sitting here reading these words, and I'm writing this for you so you don't feel alone anymore.

 

For the past year I keep returning to this video to play the song while reading the comments, trying to understand why people are sharing so much of themselves—and even though now I'm commenting I still don’t understand. The more I type, the more I feel it’s not what I'm writing that matters, but the more I know I want to enter and be a part of this space. The music moved me when I heard it, and these comments moved me when I read them. The perfect combination. Imagining this will get lost among thousands of other comments. Feels good.

 

Here we are again, 3 AM, reading the best YouTube comment section I've ever seen. If only there was someone to share it with.

 

I come here every night. I listen in bed, just crying alone about everything worth crying about in life. This is the only place I can do that.

 

I don't know if anyone will see this, and I don't know what message I am trying to put out here. But I am grateful to those who have shared their stories.

 

A few hours ago, I was seriously considering suicide.

 

I think my time is near and I am not afraid.

 

image:


SHARE