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August 9, 2013 | Breaking Bad fiction

Los Pollos Hermanos comment card

Chad Chmielowicz

Los Pollos Hermanos comment card photo

Dear Sir or Madam,

I feel I need to begin by saying I am a longtime lover of your products. As a single mom some days after my shift I know I can stop by and acquire a good amount of your quality sides such as the mashed potatoes or wonderful biscuits. I am aware by some of the plaques that awards have been won due to freshness and overall high excellence. Coming home with Lindy in one arm and a bucket of Pollos Hermanos in the other, well let me tell you, the kids are happy to see me and even before I have the keys out of the door they snatched up the chicken and are hollering like Where is the BBQ sauce? What are the sides that we have? My kids are good kids. I am a good mom. That's why I told Ricky, this year you are going to be 8 years old and we are going to have a party for you and your school friends at Los Pollos Hermanos. My sweet little boy filled out all the invitations himself and on the day of the party, oh he woke me in bed before it was even light out. That's how excited he was. That is what I'm telling you! You should know that the workers were very friendly. Julie set things up so nice and made sure that the dressed up chicken brothers came out to take pictures with the kids, she took everyone's order and the food, like every time, was delicious. That is not at all the disappointment I faced, nor did I ever face. I like a chicken thigh better than a breast. The kids all prefer the chicken fingers and I can tell Julie was not even mad to see so many fries on the floor where the kids were eating. That is how nice it was going. They were smashed into the floor but that must be pretty normal. I can tell you if things had ended there, I would not have been forced by all of what happened to be writing this letter to you now even while the kids are asleep and I should be asleep too because I have to be up very early. All those kids knew that right after we were done eating that is when we would go outside and hang up the piñata and everyone would leave with candy stuffed in all their pockets. It has right on the flyer for the LPH birthday party a piñata which is included in the price. And you know little boys love to swing a bat. Well swing and swing they did, one after the other until one of them finally caught that donkey right in the head and off it came. And what poured out do you think? Did a bunch of candy and chocolates spill onto the floor? Did everyone squeal and yell and dive in? Well yes they did, they did squeal. Because what poured out of that piñata was thumbtacks, like hundreds of them. And all those kids ended up with them stuck in their knees or soft forearms or fingers.  I will just hope that Julie told you all what I am telling you now. 12 little boys! I am demanding my money back and also will not ever return to your torture house. Thumbtacks! Please tell me what is the meaning of this? While the other local chicken establishments I believe are inferior to yours, I cannot ever get the thought out of my head of my little boy on my lap crying on his birthday. How did this happen?  Because what transpired to me must not be visited on another family and their loved ones, in the premises there please inspect, it's the least you can do! all other piñatas.

Sincerely,
Lorene Pantales

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