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April '04 BASEBALL! |
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A Nice Life Andrew Bomback |
Dave Clapper Joe Lee's Fastball |
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brad "reviews" baseball
not that im not in love with baseball - cause i am - but lets just suppose for a second that the commish decided to "spice" up the official sport of brads reviews (that being baseball. and table football with the piece of paper folded into a triangle) with a few additions to an already perfect game. here then, are some suggestions, already rated and reviewed. PLAY BALL! adding 25 more feet between third and home ******* if you want to score, you gotta convince me you really want it. youve gotta be willing to hustle the 115 feet all the way to home. this would naturally introduce more pickle plays between third and home - and we ALL LOVE to watch a good pickle. bring back the rally monkey ********** now hear me out on this one. by rally monkey i mean this: bring out a live monkey when the home team is on a rally, and beat that monkey. have someone with a stick start wacking that monkey senseless, and watch that monkey go! GO MONKEY GO! each team must add one blind shortstop by the fith inning ***** this one pretty much speaks for itself. this is quite possibly the best idea in the history of ALL SPORTS. this adds that "wild card" element to the game. will he get to it? where will the ball hit him? say he does field the ball - wheres he gonna throw it? in the stands? to left field? oh ho ho...this one is hot... allow the defense to hit the runner for an out ****** like in dodgeball. you have three options here: 1. catch the ball for an out 2. get the ball to the base before the runner gets there for an out, and 3. while the runner is running to the base, nail him wherever for the out. if you hit his helmet, that counts for 3 outs. not in the face though. thats just mean. make the warning track a big trampolene ******* you think its gone, THINK AGAIN! send a-rod to detroit for life ***************** dont tell us you want to leave seattle, not for the money, but for a "championship team" and end up playing for last place texas for $252 million. then he has the audacity to play for the the yankees? (ed. note: ha. Brad's not still bitter or anything.) send the yankees to north dakota ************************** ive been saying for some time now that north dakota needs pro sports. why not one of the many from new york? allow steroids ** well, I heard they were good for you. you dont even really need your liver if you really think about it. if you strike out looking you cant use your glove the next inning ********** this is the rule when im coaching some day. your first baseman better be a good hitter. other honorable mentions: ghost runners (see backyard whiffleball rules)
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